The Best Job

I am resisting going to bed as long as I possibly can. It is this phenomenon that occurs when you are a mother. The kid is in bed, and you just melt to the couch and you can't move, because at last it is quiet and you are not chasing a little crawler all over the house. Maybe that is why there are so many Mommy blogs--we use this rare quiet moment to update the blog. Funny how we can't seem to think of anything to talk about other than our kid(s). Ha ha.

I wanted to share a dilema and then a thought I had recently. If you were not aware, I just graduated as an illustrator. My plan is to work in the children's book industry, and eventually write and illustrate my own books. I left college super gung-ho, and ready to work my tail off. I want to push my art as far as I can.

Shortly after graduation, I realized that being a mom is hard too. I mean, I knew that, but I had just finished school where a babysitter or his daddy tended my boy most of the day. Suddenly I was confronted with the wonderful but busy task of being a full-time momma.
Just in case you are curious, here is a run-down of my basic day:

2:30am- Max wakes up. Feed him, change his diaper, and put him back to bed

3:00am- Go back to bed (takes a while because I usually fall asleep in the chair in Max's room..which is very uncomfortable)

5:30- Max wakes up energetic and ready to play, but I am still in a zombie-like state, so I try to convince him to go back to sleep (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't)

6:00am- I eat breakfast and study my scriptures and feed the boy, change his clothes and diaper
The rest of the day goes something like this:
max's nap
nasty diaper
emergency bath
baby proof the house again
diaper
feed him babyfood, which ends up all over me and the kitchen
diaper
dishes
diaper
hold crying boy
laugh and play with him on the floor
diaper
nap
feed
diaper
dishes
go on a run
diaper
playdate
clean up nasty mess
feed
go on a walk
hold crying boy
laugh and play
make dinner
bath
bed
put him back in bed
then I finally go to bed.

Whew! I am exhausted just typing that. I am really so happy to be a mom, but it is very time consuming. I was feeling guilty for not doing as much with my art as I would like, but I turned to a scripture in Eccelsiastes which was an answer to my prayers.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Being a mom is the BEST thing I can do. It is the most influential thing I will EVER do. I can change lives as a mother. Sure, it can be monotonous and stressful and exhausting (and I only have ONE baby!), but I have had more joy in the past several months than I have ever had in my life. It is hard to explain, it is just something you have to experience for yourself. I know that motherhood is Divine. I am not ashamed to be a mom, or a homemaker. Right now, I feel like that is my 'season.' I will be an illustrator, and I do try to draw and paint everyday and contact publishers, but I am not guilty nor do I feel like a failure if 'all' I do is change 10 diapers and hold a teething, sobbing baby. This is the kind of thing that has eternal consequences. If I don't dedicate my life and time to my family, who will?

I am proud to be a mom!