Let me start with a personal confession and epiphany. I have never struggled with my weight. Please don't take this as bragging, I am just being honest. There have certainly been times in my life when I have looked and felt healthier, and have had more or less muscle health and mass. Besides obviously gaining weight when I was pregnant, I have pretty much been the same weight since about eight grade---give or take a few pounds. With that said, I have had a lot of people say things like this to me:
" I am glad to see you are eating that (insert cookie, cake, candy), you definitely need it!"
"You don't have any fat on you, you can eat whatever you want."
"Why do you run? You look great?"
"You don't have to worry about what you eat like the rest of us do."
"You are lucky to have such a fast metabolism, so you can eat whatever you want."
Comments like that always confused me. So, the only reason we should eat right is to prevent us from gaining weight? So everyone who isn't overweight can just have a free-for-all in the candy isle? Celery and spinach are only for people who really need it? The only purpose of exercise is weight loss? Ridiculous, right? I thought so. What if we are focusing on the wrong thing.
This isn't just about body image, it can apply to any goal we are trying to set..but my point is it should be motivated first by the intrinsic and second by the external.
Sticking to a diet or reaching a lofty goal changes you. You become a master of yourself. You are more disciplined in at least one area of your life. That brings power. Regardless of your beliefs, you can't argue that reaching a long sought after goal brings joy and a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. It is progression. Eating right=power. Choosing to limit time on the internet or TV= power. Deciding to spend more quality time with loved ones= power. Exercise= power. Do you see?
But why do we all seem to struggle with our goals? Why do we set so many that we can't reach? Maybe we are focusing too much on the external, and not enough on the intrinsic. We want the outward results of a fitter body, but we aren't willing to dedicate our spirit, control our will and change our nature to reach our goal. If we set a goal that is motivated solely by an external force, we may digress rather than progress if our goal is not met.
People can totally meet goals if they are strictly externally motivated. You can loose weight if all you want is a slimmer body. You can run a marathon if all you want to do is say you did it. But, I believe the entire experience can be life changing, and more influential if you are motivated for reasons like reaching this goal will make me a better parent. It will make me a more loving spouse. It will help me focus more. It will give me power. It will help me take control of my life. It will help me to be more confident.
It's all about self-mastery. So what if I don't look any different if I eat junk? I may not be gaining any physical weight, but my spirit, my will-power, is suffering. It is my personal believe that one reason we are on this earth is to learn to control ourselves. That is one important test. I may not look different when I eat a whole pan of brownies (and believe me, it has happened), but I feel different. I just lost, or surrendered, some of my self-control. I was weak. I caved.
As the new year approaches, let us think about steps we can take to really develop greater Self Mastery. You can do it! I believe in you!
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