Secret Confession.

Don't tell my husband, but I love baseball. Do I watch it? Nope. Can I name more than 5 MLB team? Highly doubt it. Do I know any professional's batting averages? No. Can I catch a fly ball in right field, or hit a home run? Never have, but probably with a lot of practice. But despite my clear lack of experience and wisdom about the sport, I can't help but love it. I love the Sandlot. I love reading books about baseball, and I get knots in my stomach when the bases are loaded and it's the top of the 9th. I LOVE that "chink" sound when the ball hits the bat, and I love baseball hats. I once declared I am a Redsox fan because I love the way the hat looks. Superficial? maybe, but maybe I am just a sentimental American, who loves a rich pasttime.

(this is an illustration I did. check out my website: arielcoleart.com)

The Good Life

Well, it happened. I graduated with my Bachelor's degree. I feel so happy, relieved, and blessed. Really, this was a modern-day miracle, every bit as real and amazing as when Moses parted the Red Sea through the power of God. Being a mom and a student was tough, but I did it. I felt the Lord's hand guide me everyday, and I know I cannot take any credit. Somehow when I was up A LOT with Max, or when I had to stay up until the wee hours working on projects, I had strength and energy to keep going the next day. It was really amazing. It was a perfect semester. I was pushed so much, but I really improved in so many ways. For one, this was my first semester doing only digital illustrations, and now I don't think I will do anything else, at least professionally. I also had probably the biggest paradigm shift yet with my art. For some reason I have always had so much fun sketching, but I would get so anxious and rigid when it came to my actual projects. I would WAY over work each piece, and about have a panic attack in the process. But I learned, and I am SO happy I learned this before I graduate, that you can just be loose and expressive all the time! I know, I know, it seems obvious, and I think I probably would have said I knew that before, but I hadn't internalized it.

SO now? 

I am just living the greatest life of a full-time momma, and part-time, squeezed in the cracks, arists, which is just the way I love it! ( I am contacting publishers and art directors which is fun and very scary!!)

Being a mom, by the way, is NOT easy. Actually, I am realizing that many things about school where so much easier than my life now. For one, I was on campus for 6 hours, so I could get a lot done, and I didn't have to put on my "diaper changer, feeder, entertainer" hats on. Now, I am with my little guy pretty much all the time. It is wonderful, but it requires a lot of love and energy. 

I made a discovery recently...many another, just as important paradigm shift. 

Sometimes I think: I got NOTHING done today! I didn't get to workout, the house is a mess, I didn't get _____,_______,and __________ done. I didn't even shower, or get out of my sweats...

BUT

I had the MOST productive day in the most important ways:

I held my sobbing boy for 30 minutes

Fed him, or tried to, 5 times

Changed 6 diapers, one explosive

Tickled him until we were both laughing so hard we were crying

Took him on a run

Read him 3 children's books

Made dinner for my sweatheart eventhough things were hectic

Said my prayers 

Read my scriptures out loud to Max (and asked what he thought :)  )

Thought of a friend or family member and called, visited or sent a text..

My point is I am going to stop labeling my day as productive only if I accomplish a list of "To Dos" based on MY goals. Being a mom and a wife is one of the most selfless things I can do, and the BEST use of my time. I am trying to give it all that I have!

This is THE life!!

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart"- Confucious

A couple of weeks ago we had a graduation/family photoshoot. The photographer was a friend named Ariel. The funny thing is that her name is Ariel Nicole, so a lot of people think I took my own photos (get it? Ariel NiCOLE and Ariel Cole..) I am definitely not that skilled with the camera. Here are some of the pictures Ariel took.

(Max fell asleep! Makes a photoshoot with a baby easy breasy!)

Well, it is actually happening! In just 13 days I will rock the good ol' cap and gown and graduate with my Bachelors! It has been an amazing semester. I have grown so much and I have learned that I cannot do anything alone. Asking for help is ok, especially asking for help from the Lord. I have to say I am even a little sad I'll be done ( I may get my Masters or Phd someday...but not for a while)

My plan is to blog it up when after grad.

But until then. Here is a deep thought to comtemplate. What makes you you? Why do you have the personality, likes, dislike you do? Why do you have your specific pet peeves? What in your life would you like to change? I just feel like asking self-reflective questions..so self-reflect!!

See you soon!

Enya?

A fellow art student had me model today for an illustration she is doing for an Enya album cover. It was a lot of fun even though the dress smelled like it had never been washed and had been worn by 1000 sweaty people (probably true). I think it scared Max.

Life as I Know IT

I appologize that I have not been much of a blogger lately. But to make it up, here are a lot of pictures and some probably boring videos. You are most welcome.

My life has been crazy but oh so wonderful. I feel so blessed. Everyday I am able to do more than I thought I could. I am very happy and really have a wonderful life. Lately I have felt so inspired. And sense this is my blog, and you are reading it, let me go ahead and pass on some inspiration.

You can do anything. I completely, totally, whole-heartedly believe that we can do whatever we put our mind to. In fact, our lives are the sum of many thougths that have lead to actions. So DREAM BIG!  The ONLY reason you cannot reach a goal or potential or dream is because of the limitations WE impose on ourselves. WE are our own worst critiques. We stifle our dreams and loose our childlike faith. We think the "real world" has to be something less than the "grown up" life we dreamed about as a kid. We can live our dreams. Want to run a marathon? Go for it. Want to win a marathon? Go for it. Want to make a million bucks? Go for it. Want to be an artist? Go for it? Want to learn how to ride a unicycle? Or juggle? Or climb a mountain? Or speak Spanish or French or Navajo? DO IT! Want to travel abroad? Plan, prepare then GO!

This is our life! We have so much potential, are we living beneath it?
As a woman of faith, I also believe that God can make so much more out of my life than I could. We can do great things on our own expertise, strength, will power, determination, but that is only a fraction of what we can accomplish through the strength of the Lord. Specifically, I have found that each day is so fulfilling and meaningful and joyful as I strive to put Him first. I read my scriptures every morning. I pray daily, and I look for opportunities to serve others. I don't do any homework or art on Sunday, to keep it holy--but somehow I have time, and energy and I get things done.

It is also important to remember to "Find JOY in the journey."
Life doesn't always go as planned.
Depspite hardwork and diligent efforts, dreams don't always come into fruition.
Life is just as hard as it is wonderful..sometimes harder.
There is the monotony of the daily grind, and the burden of providing for and raising a family.

BUT, we can still find joy. We can have peace, and I totally believe we can life a fulfilling life in any circumstance.

I have dreams. I PLAN on being a professional illustrator. I am going to make it happen. I PLAN on running a marathon and someday learning how to play the piano with two hands. But my biggest dream and most important goal is to be the most loving, devoted wife and mother I can.

I am living my dream!

For Valentine's Day I made Q's favorite: Lasagna! I got a little more dressed up than usual, and put Max in a bow tie. Q was so happy, I love my man!

 This is how my days usually go down..except, jr. is usually not this calm :)

I am including lots of pictures of my new hair...which is getting long. I didn't realize how often I would need to get it cut!

Vday again (sorry these arn't in order)

Cute little smile from a cute little boy 

I usually do my hair like this every night. So fun, but it is getting a little long, now it droops in the front and I look like a quail.

Max!

Don't Be a Weenie!

I cut my hair. It was really on a whim, and I am surprized I followed through, but I am SO HAPPY I did! It is amazing how much hair contributes to your overall confidence. Sure it's just hair, but you might as well love it, and you might as well try something new, right?? Life is too short to be a weenie and not want to try something new.

Here are a few pics...there are so many ways to style a pixie, so I'll have to post other styles as well.

No Regrets

Raising a baby is hard. Finishing your last semester as an art student is hard. Doing both at the same time? Lets just say there are days when I am not sure I am Mom material...or college graduate material....or human being material.


It would have been so much easier to wait to start a family until I graduated. I would have been able to dedicate more uninterrupted time to my projects, and I certainly would have less sleepless nights and bloodshot eyes. I would have more time to get ready, and my house would be cleaner. Traveling would be easier, and so would getting our weekly date nights, and pretty much everything else. Usually when I come home after being at school all day, Max doesn't let me leave his side, or even put him down, so I do most of my art projects while holding him....along with cook dinner, do the dishes, clean the house...

Lets just say my right arm has gotten very strong, and my ability to accomplish tasks one-handed is rather impressive!

Add that to the fact Max got the flu two weeks ago, which I missed classes for, then I got sick (more missed classes), and he is teething.

However. I do not regret for one second our decision to start a family. It is certainly not a convienient time for us..but when is? The past 6 months have been crazy, but they have also been wonderful. I had no idea how this little guy would tug at my heart strings. I had no clue how totally and utterly in love I would be. I didn't prepare myself for the pure joy of hearing his litttle laugh, or seeing his smile. I absolutely love seeing my sweetheart put his "Daddy hat" on. Watching him make Max giggle and squirm with delight is my favorite thing in the world. I love his little face as he sleeps, the way he snuggles into your arms. Becoming a parent has been lifechanging, to say the least. I am not just a woman, or a wife. Not just an art student, or a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Or a Christian, or a runner. I am not just a sister or daughter or friend. I am not even just a person, I am a Mother!

I would endure a hundred million more sleepless nights, teething babies, fussy moments, crazy schedules, if it meant I had one more second to hold my sweet baby boy.

I love you Max. Come what may!

I know for some, the decision to have children comes after school or after careers get established, after world travel, or a certain amount is in the bank. I am not saying those decisons are wrong...choosing when to have children and how many to have are very personal decisions, that I believe involve only the couple and the Lord. But I am grateful we did something hard because I have become a much stronger person.

This is the good life. Don't be jealous :)